Julie Nelson joined KARE-11 in September of 2003, after working at KSTP-TV. Months after arriving at KSTP she was named "Best Newcomer" by Mpls/St. Paul magazine. In 2000 she won a regional Emmy for anchoring. Julie's also twice been named "Best Anchor" by City Pages. Julie received bachelor's degrees in journalism and history from Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana.
I always wondered why homies be leavin' their stickers on their caps. Some people think it's "cool", but I thought it was cause they planned on returning their hats to the "Lids" store in the mall the next day when their team didn't do so hot. I remember a friend and I pulling a similar move once in junior high when we bought expensive dress shirts and wore them to the Homecoming Dance, with the tags cleverly scotch-taped inside. Next day, we went back to the Expensive Shirt Store and got our moneys back. Bonus.
Next time you see that dude who always wears all those sweet hats, ask him if he has the receipt. Cause he does.
Seriously, today I am PUMPED like WOW. I don't know what it is, but I have a feeling today's pump-levels are going to be SKY HIGH...I've just got a good goddamn feeling! The future's so bright I gotta wear shades. But not today, cause it's raining out and if you wore shades you'd just look like a jackass, and does anyone really remember that song anyway...ah shit, I'm rambling. This PUMP is gettin' the best of me, gettin' too JACKED UP! Gotta focus. Ok. Deep breaths.
It's hard to describe in words just how pumped I really truly am right now, so I guess I'll try to describe my PUMP levels with some poor quality pics...
First off, if it's raining, and maybe you've been battling being sick all week, but not like swine-flu sick, just kinda stuffy, sore-throat sick, AND you wanna get pumped while battling the common cold, well, this will fix ya right up!! COMBO-PUMP!
Next, do something you wouldn't usually do... say, punch your best friends in the face. Do it. IT WILL PUMP YOU UP.POW! PUMP-PUNCH!
I've probably posted this photo on the Pbath before, but I'm just too lazy to go back and see if I really did or not. But anyhoo, it PUMPS ME UP. So it's fourth grade. You're about to make the game-winning shot in a playoff basketball game against the rival school. You'd want your parents there to see you in all your glory, right?? pump. But if Phil Collins and Mask show up?!?! BONUS PUMP!!!
By this time you're probably so JACKED that you'd just like to sit it out and watch some other dudes get JACKED pumpin' iron, right? Then this clip is for you. LOLz at the end, where Arnold gets blazed. BODY-PUMP!
Wow, what a day. I bet you'd probably like to see just how PUMPED you were today, right? RAWT?!?! Go ahead and make a PUMP-GRAPH in your office. Don't worry, the boss won't mind. Chartin' the PUMP-PROGRESS!
So The Get Up Kids are playing the Varsity Theater tonight, and my friend challenged me to a little contest...
"First dude to cry tonight during the show wins. EMO CONTEST!"
At first I thought this was kinda funny in a "haha, yeah, cool" sort of way, but then I thought harder about it... maybe this dude is serious?? Maybe I'll just have to take him up on his little challenge? This dude thinks he's gonna out-cry me?!? IT'S ON. I'm going to muster up all of the emo feelings in the pit of my soul in order to squirt some genuine tears and WIN THIS FUGGIN' CONTEST!
Okay, sorry to keep this short, but I gotta go get psyched up to cry tonight. Must think emo thoughts... high school, girls on the track team, Dashboard Confessional, tight jeans...
Sit down and get comfortable children, as I tell you just one of the many legendary tales in the ongoing saga that is... HUMP DAY PUMP UP.
So I strolled into the office the other morning, with my Large McCafe Coffee in hand, and I immediately started just pounding my fist on everyone's desks. HOLY BEJEEZUS I was so AMPED that day! Not only did Mickey D's provide me with the usual liquid pumpage, but it's now MONOPOLY season, son!!! That rare time of the year where everyone in the office agrees to consume 25% more McDonalds products in hopes of collecting game pieces that will surely lead to THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN PRIZES, or, inevitably, a ONE WAY TICKET OUTTA HERE. haha, WISHFUL THINKING PUMP!!!
Anyway some bro-dudes I work with happened to notice my display of sheer PUMPAGE goin' on, and they immediately started gettin' absolutely JACKED UP as well! High-fives were just a flyin', the PUMP was SPREADING... BRO-PUMP!
Holy crap, our office was rockin' out so hard, the PUMP VIBES could be felt miles away! In fact, there were these two girls in a rock club 13.5 miles away that felt the HUMP DAY PUMP UP vibes wash over them, and of course they immediately broke down and became giddy as little school girls. THIS PUMP WAS POWERFUL.
The PUMP was gainin' momentum, and FAST. People throughout the land were getting so DAMN PUMPED, but of course not everyone could handle the PUMPAGE. Some dudes got so PUMPED they just started eating random shit, and FREAKING OUT...
(LOL at 0:32)
Some dudes got so PUMPED their heads just went ahead and friggin' EXPLODED! Bam. TOO PUMPED.
Some dudes' heads didn't quite explode, they just flat out started falling off. I shit you not, this PUMP UP was making dudes' heads fall off!! But the chicks throughout the land were so damn PUMPED that they didn't even notice. If anything, the ladies became even MORE attracted to the headless dudes...
Finally the PUMP started slowing down, and eventually came to an end. Another Wednesday had come and gone, and Thursday was upon us. After the dust had cleared, everything slowly returned back to normal. Well, almost everything...
GAGA PUMP!
And thus ends our tale for today. Good luck to you all as you struggle through that mid-week hump!
A few awesome friends and I went to this show last week at the PACKED Cabooze in MPLS, and needless to say, it was quite amazing. Whiskey shots, TEAM DRINK chants, hugs, laughs, good music, great times!!! Such a completely kick ass night, and Gaslight was quite worth all the hype they've received as well. By far the BEST part of their set however came as a cover of Hot Water Music's "Trusty Chords", which about 10 people in the crowd seemed to recognize. LOVED it.
Oh, sorry Crista and Condor, you guys were chillin' outside during this I believe, haha, but here's what ya missed...
So I sent an email to a customer yesterday at work, and received one of those "Out of Office" auto-reply thingies. The message was as follows:
I am afraid I am out of the office. I will be out of the office the remainder of the day, returning Thursday.
Looking at these words, I realized they don't make sense to my brain at all. "I am afraid I am out of the office."
You're "afraid" you're out of the office? What are you afraid of? Do you like being IN the office so much that the thought of being OUT of the office scares the shit out of you?? What if this dude actually was out of office, (which he was). This guy must be just FREAKING OUT. "Holy shit, my greatest fear just came true, I'm out of the freegin' office!! AHHH! What the fuck am I gonna do?? I always feared this would happen!!"
I am afraid I am out of the office. Why is FEAR playing a factor in this thing at all? It's cool man, I understand if you're just not in the office today, we've all been there. But there's nothing to fear dude. Grow a pair and quit worrying.
I then decided I would go to lunch, so I set my email "Out of Office" auto-reply message to the following:
"I am afraid I am out of the office. I am afraid I am eating a sandwich from Subway. I am afraid that they will put too much Southwest Chipotle sauce on it. I am also afraid of bee stings, toilet paper sticking to my shoe as I walk out of the bathroom, and the movie E.T."
In hindsight, I guess I should have also included "I am afraid my boss will see this away message while I'm at lunch and call me into their office to have a talk."
Let's get right to the PUMPIN'... LUMPIN' STYLE!!!
LUMPS!
More serious LUMPAGE!PUMPED!
LUMP PUMP! I can feel the PUMP levels risin'...
How PUMPED is this woman?! Oh those lovely Lady-Lumps!
HOLY GRANDMA'S LUMPY GRAVY PUMP!
Awww shit, did someone say GRAVY? Watch out for that GRAVY MAN...
(I seriously don't know what the fuck that was about. Sorry, I got carried away. I don't know what's goin on.)
How bout this classic from 1995 by The Presidents of the United States of America?! Jeezus I'm gettin' pretty effin' PUMPED right now!
So I was chillin' in Seattle the other day, and totally had a Wisconsin flashback when I was at the market and saw this old lady in a window. What was she doing??! Well my friends, this crazy vat of goo she was stirrin' was soon to become CHEESE CURDS!! In this pic, you can see they're JUST GETTIN' LUMPY!! Pah-Pah-Pah-PUMP!!!
On another day I was driving and saw some douche with a big-ass truck, driving around in the city. Pretty sure you don't need that EXTRA-LARGE, EXTRA-DOUCHEY PICKUP TRUCK in downtown Minneapolis. Then he passed me, and I noticed his truck's testicles hangin' from below his rear bumper. Okay, you're a douche, but your truck LUMPS just got me PUMPED!!!
Hope these LUMPS have kept you PUMPED. HAPPY HUMP DAY LUMP DAY PUMP UP!!!
So a classic question came up at work today, and I'm sure you've all been put in this spot before...
Co-worker: If you could bang one celebrity, who would it be?
Me: Thats very interesting, I never really thought about it..But...Zooey Deschanel. i love her.
Co-worker: ohhh...interesting. i like it.
Me: whoa, wait... Me: ok, this might be really, really weird... Me: but i have this thing... Me: she's a bit older, haha Still Me: nevermind.
Co-worker: no no no....tell me!!!!!!
Me: ok. i would totally bang... Me: no, correction, i would tenderly love.... Co-worker: Jack Nicholson?
Me: haha Me: I would tenderly love LAURA LINNEY.
Coworker: Wha..??
Me: YES. I'm going with Laura Linney. Shes the cutest woman, ever!
Me: Maybe it's a MILF thing, I dunno. I think I could really see myself cuddling by a fireplace with her forever. She's always in movies, but you can never remember which ones... But regardless....
I don't have anything to say today, but I didn't want to excite those of you who jumped onto the puddingbath and expected $1 Jimmy Johns today. That was yesterday. Quit livin' in the past.
WHOA! My mind has just been blown today. Or my stomach. Is it okay to say "My stomach has been blown??" What can be blown? I mean, mind, yes. Peener? Yes. Can't every part be blown?? Anyhoo, here ya go...
JIMMY JOHN'S FOR $1 (OCTOBER 1ST ONLY!!!)
Participating Jimmy John’s restaurants are selling 6 different eight-inch sandwiches for $1 each. Offer is only good TODAY, October 1, from 11 am to 3 pm. Limit one per person.
All 60 locations in the Twin Cities are participating, but it makes sense to call ahead and confirm.
The six varieties that are a buck include: Pepe, Big John, Totally Tuna, Turkey Tom, Vito, and Veggie.
