HUMP DAY PUMP UP!!!!

Yo, welcome back! Sorry for the lack of PUMP last Wednesday, I know some of you were depending on the PUMP to get you through your mediocre day, and I failed you. Don't worry, judging by the abundance of verbal abuse, hate mail, and burning crosses in my yard, I'd say you're ready to be PUMPED UP once again, and I'm here for you.

So come on in, take a seat, get settled, and welcome to Wednesday. Nope. Change of plans, stand up. Backwards kick that chair as hard as you freegin' can. Rip yer shirt off. Yell at yer boss. Stand on your desk. Pour a cup of coffee on yer chest. NOW you're ready. This is the greatest Wednesday of your life (so far). HUMP DAY PUMP UP!!!!

Why are we here? It's simple. We're here to help you rise up from the gigantic shit-ball that is your 9 to 5. In a few mere minutes, you will be jumpkicking Wednesday in the teeth, grabbing your wang or clam with one hand, while simultaneously raising a defiant middle finger to "the man" with the other. Get jacked up, feel the pump in your soul, and let's get right to it!!!

PUMP - THE KFC DOUBLE DOWN!!

How I have not yet commented on this absurd "sandwich" is beyond me. I mean, dear god. I first read about it on some blog, and although I did have a lil' chuckle, I denied it's actual existence. Then came the billboards and TV ads for this ridiculous KFC monstrosity. Wow. I mean, I thought it was just an awesome joke, but KFC actually said "fuckit, lets just put it out there, see what happens..."

First of all, the "bun" is meat. Read that again. The "BUN" is MEAT. Two pieces of fried chicken, to be exact. Wedged between those greasy patties of

chicken-like product is 2 slices of cheese (why not?), two slices of bacon (essential), and then some of The Colonel's goo slathered on for good measure. What crazy Wisconsin scientist came up with this one? Really America? We've lowered our standards enough to actually ingest this stack of garbage? KFC isn't even hiding behind a mysterious slogan or clever ploy, either. They're flat out encouraging you to UNTHINK. That literally means DO NOT THINK. Turn off your brain for a minute and suck down one of these heart-stopping calorie heaps ASAP.

Welp, gotta admit, it's pretty meaty, and definitely just mind-boggingly stupid, so I vote yes. PUMP. And I thought the KFC Famous Bowls couldn't be topped...

ART PUMP!!

No, this is not a joke. I actually went to the Minneapolis Institute of Arts the other day, and uh, well, I looked at art. It was generally a relaxing, soothing experience, but one piece of art got me freegin' PUMPED.

I mean, how PUMPED are these dudes? Look at those grins. This piece intrigued me, so I went to the artist, Yue Minjun's website. Turns out there are armies of these grinnin' Chinamen. It's all pretty rad. Also, for you Minneapolis peeps, check out the 'Until Now' exhibition goin' on at MIA right now. It's completely FREE on every third post-Hump Day (aka Thursday), from 5 to 9, or free with college ID, or 8 bucks for you other schmucks. Art Pump.

Oh, sidenote, do you remember that classic episode of Saved by the Bell, in which Lisa Turtle ponders, "What is art? Are we art? Is art art?" Bold questions indeed Lisa, I wish I had all the answers. Moving on...

INTERRACIAL PUMP!!

Speaking of Lisa, when I was younger I realized that Lisa Turtle was the first African American girl that I would totally go to the Bone Zone with. Now I'm not trying to ruffle any feathers with that statement, it's just the truth. Think about it... right? Rawt?!? That episode where Zach hooked up with her... I mean, I was totally hopin' he'd ultimately get wit Kelly, but man, knockin' boots with Lisa was a pretty hot change of pace. PUMP!

WOOT.COM PUMP!!

Today, it's a Woot-off. If you don't know what that is, you're missing out. You can catch all the action HERE. If you didn't just click that link, you're missing out. If it is no longer Wednesday, April 28th, then you missed out. This is a timely pump.

NINJA TURTLE CHILD CARE PUMP!!

I really, uh, dunno what to say here. At least the baby looks... happy?

DRUNK GIRLS PUMP!!!

I leave you today with this clip. This song is rad. This video is retardedly amazing. Watch it. Seriously, watch it. If this doesn't pump you up today, I will give you a full refund. Just do it. Don't think. Unthink. Let's party. PUMP!!!

GET PUMPED, STAY PUMPED!!!!