HUMP DAY PUMP UP!!! - S.U.M.M.E.R.

Yo, straight up, to my Midwest peeps, get pumped. Now get SUPER PUMPED. Now concentrate real hard and GET THOSE PUMP LEVELS THROUGH THE FREEGIN' ROOF. What's the occasion you ask? Well, besides it being WEDNESDAY, it's also one other special thing...

SUMMER.

Yes my friends, I am officially calling it. Now before you go yelling at me, let me just assure you, it is summer. I've made the call, I'm sticking with it. I understand that we skipped Spring this year. I understand that the lake's not warm enough to dive in quite yet. I understand that there was that one year where I called Summer, then it snowed 3 more times. I've made mistakes in the past, but I'm fully confident in my decision now. It is SUMMER.

Why should this PUMP you up??? Let me count the ways...

PUMP ONE : GRILLING OUT.

I don't know how I even begin to explain how awesomely amazing grilling out is. You know when I most want to grill out? When I am just drivin' along on a nice day, windows down, mindin' my own bidness, when all of a sudden WHAMMO!, my nostrils are filled with the sweet scent of a flamin' grill somewhere off in the distance. Immediately my mind is filled with bratwursts and burgers and shish kabobs and perfectly seared steaks. It's like there are grill marks on my brain. Anytime that delicious aroma wafts in my direction, I get a FOOD BONER instantly. Bust out the charcoal, let's do this.

And the best part is you can grill any day, with anything - if it's made out of food, you can grill it. Feel free to get weird with it, it's totally cool. Chicken? Pork? Beef? Veggies? yepyepyepyep. Pizza? Let's give er a whirl! PUMP!

PUMP TWO: BASEBALL.

America certainly did get it right when they claimed this as our pastime. Nothing like havin' a few brews in the sun, nom noming on a hotdog, hearin' the crack of the bat, just enjoying THE sport of summer.

PUMP THREE : SAND.

Anytime sand is involved, in anything, it's a party. The beach? Hell yes. Fill a cooler and go run around in the sand. Get home and empty the sand out of your shoes - a sure indicator that summer is in full swing. Get one of those hourglasses with the sand in it - well, uh that has nothing to do with anything. But I'm pretty sure sand and summer go hand in hand.

PUMP FOUR: SANDALS.

...and if you've got sand, you bet yer ass you've got sandals. Ah, the feeling of not giving two shits about socks or shoes, slippin' into a comfy pair of sandals. You go from walkin around the house barefoot to out the door and good-to-go in 2 seconds. So easy. Kudos to Jesse Von Sandalton III, who invented the classic footwear. I made that up. One thing to note on sandals: Don't let foreigners fuck wit your sandals, especially while drinkin' milk, or this will happen:

PUMP FIVE: SUNBURNS.

Sunburns just freegin' rule. Ok, they do suck and hurt pretty bad, not really that pumpy of a thing, but hey, what an awesome reminder of a great summer day. A sunburn means that you were having so much fun doing whatever it was you were doing in the sweet summer sunshine that you just couldn't resist an hour or two more outside, baking in the glorious heat. Slap on some aloe vera gel and call it a day, cause you my friend got lobsterized. PUMP!

PUMP SIX: KITES.

When's the last time you flew a kite? Seriously. Go to Super Target, fork out $4, get a kite. Then ya know what you do with that sucker?? You get a nice windy day, find a nice open space outside, preferably next to a nice lake, and you nicely throw that thing up into the beautiful nice blue sky. Nice! Now you're winning. PUMP.

Ok, I just realized that I cannot fully represent the ahmazingness of Summer in just one blog post. It would probably take, um, all Summer to properly discuss Summer. So on to the speed round... I'll just post some more summery fun topics, with a picture to represent...

PUMP: POOL PARTIES.

PUMP: BONFIRES.

PUMP: WATERMELON EATING CONTESTS.

PUMP: SWIMMING.

PUMP: CAMPING.

S.U.M.M.E.R. ---> SUPER. UNBELIEVABLE. MELTY. MAGNIFICENT. ENDLESS. RECREATION.

THAT IS SUMMER.

Now I know you're just sittin' there in your cubicle, the most un-summerlike hell on earth, but just focus on all of the glorious things to come, as mentioned above. Trust me, those things wouldn't be half as fun unless you went through those miserable work days, pushin pencils and givin' in to the man. So GET PUMPED, you've got another KICK ASS SUMMER to look forward to, make this one count. Let's make this the PUMPIEST SUMMER OF ALL TIME. SUMMER OF THE PUMP!!!