The Meatiest Sandwich.

So I just finished a delicious delicious scrum-didily-umptious masterpiece called the FOOTLONG MEATBALL MARINARA SUB from the fine establishment of Subway. But hold the phone friends, this wasn't just any tasty treat. Oh no sir! I've had my share of meaty subs, but this one TAKES THE CAKE. AND THE MEAT. It takes all the meat, and all the cake; it was THAT GOOD. Lemme explain.

You see, as I entered Subway on this beautiful summer night, my first thought was, "Dammit, bad timing", as I noticed the horde of hungry people lined up for tasty tasty meat treats that can only come from Subway. I really hate waiting in line, but when you're paying 5 measly dollars for a tube of bread loaded with balls of meat, sweet zesty sauce, and fresh, crunchy fixins, what can ya do? So I waited. And waited. Really lady? You don't know what kind of bread you want, yet you've been standing in line 10 minutes? C'mon!

So it's finally my turn to order, and I decide to rock a footlong meatball on Monterey Cheddar. Sounds perfect, right? Well my friends, all was not right in the Subway world this fine evening. As I placed my order with Luis the Mexican Sandwich Artist (I call him that, cause employees there are known as 'sandwich artists'... and he was a Mexican), I watched in horror as Luis (pronounced 'lew-eece') dug around the hot bin with his scooper-thingy, only to pull out an empty tub where those delicious meatballs usually dwell. My heart sank as I watched Luis scramble to the back, reappearing with a new tub of cold meatballs. A tear almost emerged from my eye as I see Luis hit '8 minutes' on the microwave. 8 more minutes before my beatiful sub sandwich creation is even close to completion! Ugggghhh.















Well, what could I do? I felt my stomach grumbling in complaint as I helplessly let 3 other people by me in line - giving them a free pass right to the "fixin's zone", as I like to call it. Finally the microwave went off, the meatballs were DONE! THE MEATBALLS WERE DONE! My mouth was watering intensely at this point as Luis quickly pulled the meatballs from the microwave and began urgently dumping meat onto my sub. But whoa, something was happening. Holy shit, I couldn't believe my eyes...

As Luis, the Mexican Sandwich Magician proceeded to place the designated 8 meatballs on my sub, I watched in amazement as he KEPT GOING!!! Yes indeedy fellow puddingbathers, he kept on truckin' to 12 MEATBALLS! I shit you NOT, TWELVE MUTHA FUCKIN' MEATBALLS!!! That has just got to be against some Subway policy, or maybe Luis had just had a hard day and was starting to lose it, I dunno man, but there were 12 beautiful, glistening meat chunks on my sandwich. Ok, it might have been 10, but it was still SO meatful, I was freakin' out, hard.




















"Sorry for wait" says Luis.

No need to apologize Luis, you are the fuckin' man! Gettin' absolutely crazy wit dem meatballs, son! OMG to the MAX!

My pumped levels were off the charts. I carried my heavy meat-sack home in excitement, then ripped that bad boy open and enjoyed what I will now label the BEST goddamn Subway sandwich I've ever had, EVER. I mean, MEAT BITE after MEAT BITE. I had meatballs just rollin' outta my sandwich. It was messy, it was beautiful, it was an epic meal. Say what you will about Subway... sure, it's no Quizno's... or even Jimmy Johns, but I'll be DAMNED if I ever get the same glorius meaty experience as I did at Subway today.

Thank you Luis, and thank you Subway, for making dreams come true.