DIET WEEK.

So I wanted to start a diet this week, but c'mon people, I hate that word, "DIET". F that noize. So I thought maybe I'll just sorta watch what I eat this week, you know, to be semi-healthy or whatever. I wanted to keep you updated on my progress, but I figured you wouldn't give 2 shits about every single item of food I'd eaten this week so I've narrowed it down to some of the highlights. DIET, WEEK ONE:



SUNDAY DINNER (at movie theater) = 1 Large popcorn, butter, and 3 good shakes each of every kind of popcorn flavor shake-stuff they had (Cheddar, Sour Cream and Chive, White Cheddar, Salt). 1 Large Coca-Cola. Finished before I was 20 mins into the movie.

MONDAY LUNCH = 1 double cheeseburger-in-a-bag, gas-station style. 1 Bag of Chips. 1 16oz Monster energy drink.


WEDNESDAY BREAKFAST = 1 McDonalds Sausage Egg and Cheese McMuffin. 1 Large McCafe iced vanilla coffee. 1 Five Hour energy shot drink.

WEDNESDAY PRE-DINNER = 3 Large beers.

WEDNESDAY DINNER = 1 Big-ass Turkey/Spinach Artichoke sandwich. Large portion of sweet potato french fries. 3 Large Pale Ales.

WEDNESDAY AFTER-DINNER = 6 games beer pong worth of beer (approx. 7-9 beers)


THURSDAY LUNCH = 1 Buffalo chicken wrap. Side Coleslaw. 1 Gigantic Fishbowl full of booze.

FRIDAY LUNCH = 1 All You Can Eat Pizza Buffet meal - 13 slices varied pizza. 1 small sub sandwich. 3 donut-like things covered in sugar and cinnamon. 1 plop of cottage cheese. 1 small salad.

SATURDAY - SUNDAY (predicted) = 2.5 to 3 gallons of varied beers and liquors. 3 to 5 pounds varied meats. 1 to 2 pounds varied cheeses. 5 buns. Some kind of vegetable product mixed in there somewhere.



So far, so good! If I could offer any advice to the fellow Puddingbathers looking to drop a few pounds this summer, remember this: Set a goal, and stick to it!