Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Indian Burial Ground

Random thought of the day: In horror films, why is it that the haunted house always turns out to be built on an old Indian burial ground? I mean, how many times have we seen it happen in films where nice family of 4 moves into slightly creepy older home (but hey, "Times are tough, and we got such a good deal on this place, honey! And what about that view?") only to be terrorized by ghouls and basements full of blood and undead pets and tequila worms and shit. It makes great horror movie fodder, but why always an Indian burial ground? I mean, why not a Jewish burial ground? Or a Dutch burial ground? You'd think an old war-memorial burial ground would have more angry ghost folks.

These damn dead Indians are always gettin' us into trouble in the movies, and I think our Native American brethren are getting a bad rap for it. What if your entire culture where undeservedly blamed for the terrorizing of ill-advised home buyers everywhere? I think we can all agree to a universal solution that will end this appalling discrimination and injustice against all Native Americans, as stereotyped in our modern-day horror cinema: Indians can't bury their dead anymore. You've got other options, Indian dudes... look into cremation. Or burial at sea. Wait, no, then we'd just have cursed pirate ships and more bad movies based on sea-hauntings and crap. Whatever, do what you'd like, just don't bury those fuckers.

Until this proposed bill to ban Indian burial is passed into law, just be extra careful when home shopping. You don't know where that ground under the house has been.





1 comment:

Cody Girl said...

I cant believe how many times I watched that puke monster shot while reading this ha