GET PUMPED, PEOPLE!

It's friggin' Wednesday, but for some reason I'm ALL JACKED UP right now. Maybe it's the 32 0z Iced coffee I had at 7am. Maybe it was the awesome dump I had at 7:23am; two words - minimal wiping. Maybe it's the fact that the ever-shitty Monday is fading off into the distance. Whatever the cause, all i know is I'm JACKED today. So get pumped, people! Do whatever you have to do to get really, REALLY fuckin' jazzed about your day!! LET'S GO. C'mon, look...you have all your fingers. Your car is running. You're not 67. You live in America (sorry Cody). You probably have 89 cents lying around, so you can probably eat at Taco Bell. You have hair. You have the luxury of spare time on your hands, cause you're obviously reading this. Stop complaining. Get hyped!!!

I'm no motivational speaker, but I will do everything in my part to get you psyched about today. We've never been more closer to Friday, ever!!* It's fuckin' Hump Day Pump Up! The sun is out! Air drum in the car! Go Nuts! Have a margarita on your lunch break today, yer boss will never know! Type words mid-sentence in ALL CAPS. Pull a shot in the parking lot before straightening your tie and entering that dead end job. Take a shit on the clock, and SAVOR it. Have an energy drink ("but I'm watching my figure, and those things are full of sugar and taste bad and..." SCREW IT. Just have one. Or a 5 hour energy. Just DO IT, even if you crash by noon). Eat someone else's food in the company fridge!

Just fuckin' GO FOR IT today, man!! Save the frowning and self-pity for Thursday, worry about your bills tomorrow, whatever ya gotta do, just get AMPED today! Here, watch this video...



NOW TAKE A LOOK AT HOW AWESOME YER LIFE IS TODAY (OR JUST LIE TO YOURSELF FOR NOW) AND ENJOY, MOTHERFUCKERS!!! (Sorry, that was a bit much.)







*questionable.