My Apologies.

Sorry I haven't gotten back to you, I know it's been a while, but I've been busy swallowing whiskey, waking up at 3 in the afternoon, and eating meatballs all day. This is my "vacation"; endless partying in my hometown. It really did cross my mind to go on a real trip, you know, outside of the Wisconsin border, but fuck it man, it's just too fun to get wrecked at the towny bars 6 nights in a row, reminiscing until morning with people you haven't seen since high school. So there, that's my apology. Sorry I haven't responded to your 132 work emails, sorry I peed on your favorite plant, sorry i made your girlfriend puke off that last shot of jameson, sorry we put your car in the ditch saturday night, sorry mom for throwing a rager at yer house while you were gone, sorry for butchering "Boy Named Sue" at the karaoke bar, sorry for making you stay open until 2 on a Sunday night so we could finish our drunk Pictionary game, sorry for that vagina comment, sorry for new years (in advance). Please accept my apology.

Stomach Full, iPod Empty.

So I go to jam to some tunes on my ipizzle, and guess what? It's fuckin' wiped clean. Artists - none. Songs - none. Playlists I never use- none. 60 gigs of jams, completely gone. I have no idea how this occurred. Funny thing is, I was just having a convo with my buddy about how I should really start backing up everything, cause shit man, wouldn't that just suck so hard if i happened to lose years worth of music? Haha, then BLAMMO, my ipod decides to pull a Regarding Henry.

And ya know, I guess I didn't freak out as hard as I expected I would. Whatevs... music can be replaced. Getting music isn't like it used to be... I remember as a kid I would save up some cash, make the trip with Ma up to the Best Buy 20 miles away, and buy ONE ALBUM. (And by album i mean record, and by record I don't mean a piece of vinyl, I mean one complete, um, collection of musical recordings released on a given date... as in Michael Jackson's Thril...fuckit, you get it... an album.) I mean I would buy one single cassette tape or CD. I'd listen the shit outta that album, too. I'd know every lyric, every song inside and out. I'd lay on my bed and actually look at the cover art. I'd know the band member's names. I'd actually give two shits; the album was a sacred thing.

Nowadays? The true album experience is gone. "No, I've actually never gotten around to owning Dylan's Blood on the Tracks, but I'll just download that quick here... ah yep, got it. Deerhunter? Haven't heard 'em, but I'll illegally download their discography, listen to a few tracks, then leave it on my ipod to later be lost. You wanna get some burgers? Okay." Eazy-peezy, japaneezy. Worthless music...endless, meaningless mp3's...torrents, rips, burning, stealing... it's all too simple, and it's killing the fun of owning and treasuring a real album.

On another note, my buddy was at the mall and saw a girl with two heads. Rad.

Things I'm stoked about today.

All in all it was a pretty legit day. 7.5 outta 10. Aside from the never-ending distraction I call "work", these things got me jazzed today:

-BREAKFAST. kick ass burrito to start the day off right. it was perfectly lukewarm.

-PARKING. got a spot today, no hassle.

-STOLEN MUSIC. just loaded the ipizzle with 9 new albums. new jams are good. sorry your band can't afford to eat, i'll try to catch your show when you come around.

-BUYIN' ONE, GETTIN' ONE. met a good friend of mine for pizza lunch, BOGO style.

-HEAT SACKS. someone gave me some of those HotHand little sack things that warm up when you smack em around a bit. see, i sit by this large window that makes my workspace a fuckin' arctic hell zone, and my hands are freakishly frigid all day long no matter how hard i type on my keyboard or slap high fives with other twenty-somethings around the office. warm hands = best present. ever (today).

-RANDOM SONG HEARD AT WORK. hell yes I'm a wisconsinite, and hell yes I get pumped when someone at work decides to crank Todd Rundgren's "I don't wanna work, I just wanna bang on the drum all day!!", the same song that echoes throughout lambeau field when the packers score a TD.

-DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING. seeing co-workers jammin' hard at their desk with headphones on, unaware that i'm observing their furious foot-tapping, head-bobbing, and air-drumming-with-pen skillz. puts a big grin on my face.

-SHOWS/DRINKS. Lawrence arms playin the triple rock tomorrow/heavy boozing. what a great thursday it is, when you just know that your friday is gonna rock so much harder.

100 Things I Love.

So recently I've noticed a lot of my fellow blogging friends have been putting up a list of the 100 things they love. This may seem like an easy task, but the catch is you're supposed to really narrow it down to the utmost things you absolutely, unconditionally love the most in your life. I thought I'd join in, but I figured 100 was a lil' unnecessary. So here we go...

1. meat.
2. sleeping.

Jan. 22. Minneapolis, MN. Pantages Theatre.

Dog School.

If I were to open a Dog Obedience School, like some kind of Doggie-College, I would name it
Harfvard!

(As in, like a dog barking, saying 'arf', and the college, Harvard.)
I guess I can't really describe the genius of this idea in words, there would have to be a commercial or something. I'd probably get the dog in this movie below to act it out...

Are these people real? Unfortunately, yes. Yes they are real.

Are you having a bad day? Has your job got you down? Maybe your girlfriend/guyfriend recently dumped you? Is life just miserable for you? Consider this: You are not a 37 year old man wearing a wizard cloak your mother made you, playing live action role-playing games in the woods, wondering what the embrace of a woman is like. Enjoy your day.

"I'm So Hungry, I Could Eat a Horse."

A comment I heard from a co-worker at the office today. Really? A horse? That's completely ridiculous. Why would you even say such a stupid... ugh! I'm so upset right now. So you're telling me that if I had some frozen USDA grade A horse-meat in the trunk of my car right now, you'd eat that? I doubt it, man. You're probably just trying to impress our department. I saw you checking out the new intern. Also, you're an idiot because there is a Subway right down the block. What a moron. Is this the hungriest you've ever been, hungry man? Or would you just settle for some Sun Chips, ya stupid dummy? A horse. Come on. There's no way you're going to find a horse in the city at this hour. And how the heck would you kill a horse, hot-shot? I bet you'd have to get a gun or a large shovel or something, and by the time you've found a horse, killed it, prepared it, and eaten it, your lunch break would be waaaay over. No way, Jose. The prep time alone would take more than half an hour. What a show-off. I'd bet five bucks that you wouldn't even eat it, but I don't have any cash on me right now. I really wish people would think before they opened their stupid hungry mouths.