Alright, today we're gonna shake things up a bit. In fact, I'm not even going to write the HDPU today. Today's PUMP will be courtesy of my good pal Dave. In the following Chat message, Dave is attempting to pump up a fellow friend. In an absolutely unheard of display of weak-sauce and un-pumpiness, the fellow friend lacks a response, causing Dave to do what he does best... JUST KEEP BRINGIN' THE PUMP!!! My oh my is he a pumpy dude! See for yerself...
12:26 PM me: God dmanit Rxxxxx stop working and pump with me and duxxxx
U r my hero
12:27 PM If I had to pump I would ask u to pump me
12:28 PM If I was your dad I would say son. It is time for u to pump
And then I would beat the living day lights out of u.
And when I was done beating u
I would give u some purple drink
And say to u
12:29 PM Just as the holy grail captured the blood of christ
Now this magical elixir will take your wounds and turn them into battle scares
And if anyone should ask u. Where did u get those scares?
12:30 PM U shall look at them and say
This badges of honor are a testimate to the true pump
I wear them proudly
They r a reminder of all the pumping done before me
12:31 PM They remind me of all the pumping to come
And one day I hope to pass the. Pump on as it was passed to me
So this long line of pumping will never die
Never
12:32 PM For pumping can't die
It is in all of us
Just as I hope one day to be in u
The pump is explosive
It is magical
It is the 8th wonder of the world
12:33 PM If I was a taco, pump would be my shell
But u wouldn't know what kind of shell
Is the pump hard?
Is the pump soft?
Is the pump hard and soft with cheese inbetween them?
12:34 PM U will never know
Because the pump lives on its own terms
Pump.
Brought to u by kellogs
And american airlines
Proudly sponsoring the pump since the dawn of time
12:35 PM Rock on
Pump on
Pump up
Pump in
Pump out
Pump it!
Yes you
Just pump it
U r my hero
12:27 PM If I had to pump I would ask u to pump me
12:28 PM If I was your dad I would say son. It is time for u to pump
And then I would beat the living day lights out of u.
And when I was done beating u
I would give u some purple drink
And say to u
12:29 PM Just as the holy grail captured the blood of christ
Now this magical elixir will take your wounds and turn them into battle scares
And if anyone should ask u. Where did u get those scares?
12:30 PM U shall look at them and say
This badges of honor are a testimate to the true pump
I wear them proudly
They r a reminder of all the pumping done before me
12:31 PM They remind me of all the pumping to come
And one day I hope to pass the. Pump on as it was passed to me
So this long line of pumping will never die
Never
12:32 PM For pumping can't die
It is in all of us
Just as I hope one day to be in u
The pump is explosive
It is magical
It is the 8th wonder of the world
12:33 PM If I was a taco, pump would be my shell
But u wouldn't know what kind of shell
Is the pump hard?
Is the pump soft?
Is the pump hard and soft with cheese inbetween them?
12:34 PM U will never know
Because the pump lives on its own terms
Pump.
Brought to u by kellogs
And american airlines
Proudly sponsoring the pump since the dawn of time
12:35 PM Rock on
Pump on
Pump up
Pump in
Pump out
Pump it!
Yes you
Just pump it
Wowza... uh, I am pretty moved right now. This is like, THE PUMP GOSPEL. I can't believe how many of you are passin' the PUMP out there, it's amazing. When later asked about this unbelievable act of PUMPTITUDE, Dave commented,
"I blacked out when writing it. The spirit of the pump compelled me."
Now THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' BOUT!!! HAPPY HUMP DAY PUMP UP ERRBODY!!!
BONUS PUMP!!!
Ok, ok, for all of you "illiterate" folk, I know you like fancy pictures and video with yer Wednesday PUMP. So for you, I offer the following BONUS PUMP. ENJOY!
1 comment:
so gross.
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