HUMP DAY PUMP UP!!!!

PUMPpumpPaPUMP papumpypumpPUMP let's do this!!!

Congrats on surviving another half week! Welcome to Wednesday, that glorious midweek point where you may be coastin' along just fine on yer own, but in case you're not and need a lil' reinforcement, we've got the HUMP DAY PUMP UP just for you.


Ok, we've got a lot to go over today, so make sure to take lots o time to go through all this pumpage. Let's get started with some liquid energy. Tell yer boss you need to take a break, visit your local convenience mart/Holiday station/Kum & Go, and pick up one of these bad boys:





















This is some serious rocket-fuel!! I think it's more geared for the "hungover" demographic, with a name like 'Recovery', but I think its the perfect pump launchpad, regardless if you tied one on the previous night or not. And only 10 calories! Get jacked!

One other observation I had from putting down one of these suckers the other day was a curious ingredient listed on the top of the can. Sure, you've got your guarine, taurine, ginseng, all completely necessary (?) ...but what's this?? MILK THISTLE?!? WTF. MILK THISTLE. I have NO idea what that is or if it's actually poisonous or made up or whatever, but I don't really care. It sounds kinda bad-ass. Something about combining two words, one of the words being extremely wimpy and sissified, like MILK, and the other being totally ruthless and wicked, like THISTLE. I like it.

Other examples of pussy/wicked word combinations:

Ginger snaps
Patty melt
Pony keg
Cross Skull (haha. Sorry religious people, I'm not trying to say Christians are pussies)
Penis Pump (?)



Ok moving right along, let's get some pumpy tunage goin. Now I know a lot of you indie kids ditched punk rock a few years back, but dust off your old warped tour ticket stubs and chain wallets for a sec and lets revisit this old gem. I don't care if you grew out of your Rancid pants long ago, this song still gets me pumpin'. No there's not video, but just rock this tune and feel your adrenaline start to kick in. Oh I'm gettin' pretty peppy-pumped right now!




One thing to note, I have nothing against California, but something about just beltin' out "Let California fall into the fuckin' ocean!!" just gets me p-p-p-PUMPED everytime!



Oh, I thought I'd throw in a lil' shout out to my man Andrew B. He is always kind enough to share his PUMP levels with me, and I always appreciate his updates. It's good to hear how PUMPED you guys are getting out there. Just this morning in fact, he let me know about the McD's breakfast and 2 cups of joe he put down, all in preparation of HUMP DAY PUMP UP!!! Good on ya, as they say. If you or anyone you know would like to be featured in a HDPU, or have any pump-worthy items to share with the world (well, the 12 people who read this blog), please post in the comments below!














Next item of PUMPness, my oh my...
MEAT NIGHT!!!
This legendary evening of animal treats went down last night, and it was oh so glorious. I've never seen so many meaty combinations on one dinner table before. It got SO MEATY, it hurt so good. I could feel my heart a poundin' as I attempted to chow down on all of these MEAT MASTERPIECES...

















Bacon, wrapped in sausage, wrapped in bacon, then barbecued!! MEAT LOG!!!



















WINGS! PASTA WITH STEAK! MEGA-MEAT PIZZA!! salad, uh....WITH MEAT!! A Turkey loaf, EXTRA PUMPY!!































































Now friends, I feel like I need to explain one of the meatiest things I've ever made to date. THE MEAT CAKE. I remember this starting as sort of a joke, but it ACTUALLY WAS CREATED LAST NIGHT, and I just knew it was something that would stay with me for a very long time. It was my baby; the MEAT ACCOMPLISHMENT of my life, and I was extremely proud.
























It started with three mega-meatloaf cakes, with a brown sugar/Worcestershire glaze. (We trimmed it to make it a little more shapely).













Real mashed potato frosting!!



































More meaty glaze on top, and garnished with some spinach leaves and parmesan cheese. When we cut into this sucker, I almost shed a tear of joy...

























I really can't describe this meat event in any other way than, uh.... EPIC.

PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP.




What am I fergettin'? Oh yes!! IT'S ST. PATTY'S DAY!! Go apeshit!!! An excuse to actually eat cabbage, drink dyed beer, and be a complete asshole all day and night, while wearing the only green shirt you have in your closet! Yeah it sucks for some people that it's on a Wednesday, but holy hell, could you think of a PUMPIER day??? And if your friends are clueless when it comes to the whole HDPU thing, just send em to the ol' pBath for encouragement. Then RAGE! (I'm telling you to rage cause i just read the word 'encouragement' again, and sure enough, smack dab in the middle is 'rage'. Anyhoo...) So yeah, go out, put back some Guinness, grow out your orange hair, overturn a car or two, start a riot, be Irish-like any way you know how. PUMP!*

*The folks here at puddingbath are not responsible for any riot-inducing actions you may actually perform.


























And remember, it will NOT be frowned upon on Thursday when you come to work, eyes bloodshot, bruises clearly visible, breath smelling like you downed a bottle of mouthwash even though the liquor odor is still quite present. No one will care, cause it's the day after St. P's. They CAN'T care. It's like, in the Constitution or something. It's like a free pass; America will turn her head the other way in ignorance, so go get yer kicks tonight!




















Welp, that should keep ya goin throughout the day. Enjoy the rest of the week, come on back and visit anytime, and remember... When Life hands you lemons, you give Life a swift kick right to the junk and ask for a refund. Cause these lemons, they suck man. Who ordered lemons anyway? They're not even made of meat.

GO GET PUMPIN'!!!