Wednesday, February 10, 2010

HUMP DAY PUMP UP - BEARDS!!!

Yes indeedy, Wednesday is here, let's get PUMPED!

Alright dudes, I love camping. And usually when I go camping, I'm feelin' all manly and shit, generally less clean, wearing my comfy camp clothes, and FERK NO I'm not going to shave! Camping and shaving don't mix, fools. The only problem is, I can't grow a beard for shit.

Seriously, I don't get my friends who walk around with freegin' wolverines on their faces, all thick and bushy and crap. I don't have beard-envy or anything... actually I don't even know what I'm talking about here, but it's 10:50am and I haven't started the HUMP DAY PUMP UP and I'm kinda struggling for an intro to today's pump. In all honesty I just wanted to show you guys some pictures of funny beards, I didn't want to have to think or anything today. So let's just skip right ahead to the good stuff.

Enjoy these Masters of Man-hair, these Champions of the Chin, these Freaks of the Facial Follicles!!! PUMP!





















Let's start things off with this guy. He's got the rolls going, very Slinky-esque. For some really weird reason his beard makes me hungry. I'm not even going to try to explain that, but I'm thinking about cookies right now, I dunno. I'll give this beard a 7.




















What a pussy, could have gone for the 'Octo-Beard', but nooooo! This guy is amateur at best. 4 on the Beard Scale.























Ah yes, ICE BEARD! A highly creative style, often involving just the right temperatures and conditions for this rare beard to appear. Not many are lucky enough to spot this true beard treasure. I'm gonna go with an 8.5.

























This is a pic of my uncle Roy, he's an asshole. I'm not sure why I included it on here. Uncle Roy is English, doesn't believe in modern hygiene, and is generally terrifying. I award you no beard points Uncle Roy, see you at Christmas.




















Oh, what a treat we have here. This guy has a windmill in his beard. Again, this guy has a windmill in his beard. This is on an entirely different level of crazy. Can you imagine this guy ordering a Grand Slam from Denny's, or some equally-as-awkward situation??? I give it a 9.




AND LAST BUT FINALLY NOT LEAST MY FRIENDS....

CHECK THIS SHIT OUT. I'M TELLING YOU. THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WATCH MY VIDEOS I POST HERE IS SITTIN' AT ABOUT 37%, I UNDERSTAND THAT, BUT JUST CLICK THE LITTLE 'PLAY' BUTTON BELOW. IF YOU DO, I PROMISE YOU THE GREATEST BEARD OF ALL TIME. SERIOUSLY. A TEN. A PERFECT TEN. WATCH IT!!!





P-P-PUMPITY PUMP PUMP PUMP!!!!!

NOW IF THAT DIDN'T GET YOU JACKED, I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL. Life is too short to not design your facial hair. Go out there an LIVE today, my friends. Hopefully this will boost yer pump levels. HAPPY HUMP DAY PUMP UP!!!

4 comments:

YESWECAM said...

Pure Magic...

xoxoxoxox

raskin

Cody Girl said...

haha ha That beard cage is gross

heck yeah, man said...

classic post, beard commentary was 10/10. remember that time i picked you up at the airport, and i had a a mustache? and the first thing you said was, "holy shit you have a mustache"? lulz indeed.

Unknown said...

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