I was kinda thinkin' I wouldn't post a HUMP DAY PUMP UP today, cause you know, I get lazy, aight?? I was about 1 lame-ass turkey sandwich for lunch away from NOT posting the PUMP when I realized how shitty my lunch was. That is, how shitty my lunch was COMPARED TO THE MOST GLORIOUS LUNCH OF ALL TIME. More on that in a bit.
Yo, first dig this. The very first thing I do today is check the OTHER SOURCE OF HUMP DAY PUMP UP, my buddies' blog. Not only did it get me JACKED, it made me think that we were actually separated at birth. Like, Siamese twins style. Even though we were detached at the weiner, and he was given the "short end of the stick", he is still an amazing human. I still can't believe how we freakishly think the same things at the same freegin' times. Here's an excerpt from his post today, in case you lazy bastards don't click the link above (you really should):
"Out of the corner of my eye, something catches me, it's a MCDONALDS... I got like 8 breakfast sandwiches, like 12 hash browns, and lol I actually got 4 coffees...
As much as I hate to admit it, all that shitty horrible food PUMPED ME UP. "
Back to what I was originally sayin', about the MOST GLORIOUS LUNCH OF ALL TIME, well, it directly relates to his tale of unfulfilled appetite for shitty food. You see, yesterday I had "THE HUNGER". That deep feeling in the pit of yer stomach, where not just any shitty turkey sandwich lunch will suffice. I needed something EPIC. After rounding up a few coworkers, we declared a field trip the local McDonalds establishment to pretty much scour their menu for, well... EVERYTHING. "The Hunger" didn't stand a chance.
Just look at us as we heave BAGS AND BAGS of delicious MickyD's back to the office....
Upon arriving back, we spread our food treasures across the company kitchen table. It was a McMOUNTAIN of wonderful food. I mean, just LOOK at that spread (below)! We were swimmin' in a sea of Angus burgers, golden delicious fries, McDoubles, McChickens, McPies, McWraps, McAWESOMENESS!!!! It was absolutely beautiful. As a tear came to my eye, I actually considered not eating, as it would be hard to ruin such an exquisite display. I just wanted to stare into the abyss of fried foods for all of eternity. Of course I regained my wits, and THE FEAST BEGAN.
And believe you me, we FEASTED LIKE KINGS (and one Queen, lol). Our entire office just REEKED WITH GREATNESS. I've never consumed so much McDonalds in one sitting in my entire life*. My coworkers and I even considered creating a sign-up sheet for time-slots to use the bathrooms haha. It hurt so good.
*this may or may not be true.
Thank you Ronald, thank you.
So today friends, as you stare into the menu of life, do not ponder WHAT to get, but HOW MUCH YOU CAN GET. And if you're truly livin' the PUMPED LIFE, you'll GET IT ALL. Push the limits today, grab life by the McBallsack, and go for it. I'm Lovin' It.
HAPPY PUMPIN' TO ONE AND ALL!!!
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