Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Legend of The Greatest Band EVER... The Story of SAGE.



Back where i'm from, we have this band.

Wait, let me start over.

Back where I'm from, we have THE GREATEST BAND THAT HAS EVER EXISTED IN THE HISTORY OF MUSIC BEING PLAYED IN SMALL TOWNS.


You see, in ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, in Osseo, Wisconsin there lived a group of dudes who decided one day that they wanted to rock. Rock HARD. And rock they did. They started a band, and ROCKED THE SHIT out of every town within a 20 mile radius. Ok, well, they sort of COUNTRY-ROCKED THE SHIT out of those towns. But anyway, they brought the goods regardless. This band of local legends was known throughout the land as the incomparable, unparalleled, unequaled, unsurpassed (thank you Thesaurus), the one and only... SAGE.




















Yes, the SAGE BAND. (Imagine thunder crashing and lightning bolts and dinosaurs eating each other and shit when you read that... "THE SAGE BAND!!" crash boom bing.)

If you've grown up in the town of Osseo, you know and love this band. It's just a part of your history, a part of YOU. This band has been going strong for countless years. I mean, my MOM would go to their shows when she was in high school, so if I did the quick math, that would have been like 70 years ago. And they're STILL GOING STRONG.


These boys know how to really bring the heat, with their unique blend of classic rock, oldies, and a lil' bit o' country. Their live show throughout the years has become nothing short of superb. SAGE would catch you by surprise, too. One minute you're just sippin' on a bottle of Pabst, enjoying their version of 'Satisfaction' by the Stones, then all of a sudden HOLY SHIIIIIT, SAGE would just start rippin' into "I'm in a hurry to get things done...", a real hum-dinger of an Alabama song. Follow that up with a lil' 'Authority Song' by the Cougar, or "Horse with no Name", and you're a-rockin' so hard, you won't know what the eff is up or down. Complete musical bliss.


Oh, did I forget to mention SAGE is a cover band? Yeah yeah I know what you're thinking, but FORGET THAT, this band is the greatest. Of all time. In any genre. Ever. BELIEVE IT. It's almost as if they wrote these songs before the real artists did, which is probably true for most of the jams on their setlist. You'd think 'Fishin' in the Dark' was by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, but you'd be wrong. That's a SAGE original.



















So anyhoo, the reason I'm all jacked up and gettin' amped today is because this weekend, I'm headin' back to my ol' stompin' grounds, and none other than THE GREATEST (cover) BAND OF ALL TIME will be performing at one of the local bars. You have no idea how PUMPED I am!!! This is like, my life band or something. This band IS my hometown. I wish I could invite everyone to come and witness the most glorious display of beer-guzzling good-time live music you've ever seen or heard. Oh, wait, I can. BE THERE!

CLICK HERE FOR SAGE THIS WEEKEND.

Let's party. *


(*Warning for all you city folk - this is towny livin' at it's best. Don't expect any tight pants. Don't expect any 'Vampire Weekend' covers. Don't expect teeth, or overpriced drinks, or non-smoking areas, or any bullshit. This is the REAL Wisconsin deal. Live it.)

12 comments:

heck yeah, man said...

the new vampire weekend is pretty good

Michellecopter said...

hahahaha in my town we would call this band "Boogie and the Yo Yos"

Anonymous said...

no mention of tomcat?

Dus said...

The Legendary Tale of Tom Cat... coming soon.

Cody Girl said...

Awesome Adam- great work- I wish I could be there ^^ Have fun!

Lindsey said...

I love you. You seriously just got me PUMPED to see this band. I want to cancel all my plans this weekend just to come to Osseo.

Extreme Ash said...

Post-show review???

cristabell said...

team drink?

Anonymous said...

Its Lake Martha Days - they'll be playing out in the street. Its rained on them the last 2 or 3 years but it looks like great weather for them this weekend. Great article - small towns rock!!

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