Sorry gang, I've been lacking in the blog department lately, but trust me, some good stuff is coming soon. I just got back from one helluva trip to florida to see my main meatman, and it was crazy. Whiskey, sunshine, grillin' out, meat, more whiskey, more meat... anyway, one document of this legendary weekend is a song we wrote and recorded, entitled "The Meatiest". Maybe if you ask real nice, we'll let ya hear it. Not sure yet though, it may have to remain an unreleased treasure. Some of the material is, um, unsavory? Let's just say it's real meaty.
I'll get some pics of the fiasco on here real soon too, you know, for me to look at and for you to briefly glance over.
Ok, that's all for now. Sorry, just wanted to check in and tell you that more is comin', I promise, so get hungry...
SO I'M GOING TO TRY AND CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT, BUT SEEING AS I'VE ALREADY STARTED IN ALL CAPS, YOU KNOW I'M FUCKIN' PUMPED TO THE MAXXX TODAY! YOU SEE, AFTER A MERE 5 MORE HOURS OF THIS SOUL-SUCKING JOB, I'M GOING HOME, I'M GOING TO PACK MY BAGS, AND I'M GOING TO FLORIDA TO VISIT MY MAIN MAN, A DUDE I CASUALLY REFER TO AS SAWTOOTH. SOME OF YOU HAVE ASKED ME WHETHER OR NOT SUCH A MAN TRULY EXISTS, AND I CAN ASSURE YOU FRIENDS, THIS IS REALITY.
ME AND THIS DUDE USED TO HANG IN COLLEGE, WORKING THE SAME JOB. HE FIRST CAUGHT MY EYE FROM ACROSS THE ROOM IN HIS 'GET UP KIDS' TEE, AND I THOUGHT HIS VOICE WAS IDENTICAL TO THE DUDE FROM 'MISERY SIGNALS', HAHA. CHECK HIM OUT YO, HERE. WE'VE GOT A DOUBLE-HUMP DAY PUMP FEST GOIN' ON!
ANYWAY ME AND THIS DUDE USED TO HAVE CRAZY SUNDAYS (SEE PREVIOUS JAN. POST, ENTITLED 'CRAZY SUNDAYS'), WHERE WE'D GET, UM, CRAZY, AND WATCH THINGS LIKE KRULL AND THE PUBLIC ACCESS CHANNEL DURING THE 'SEXUAL PREDATOR' HOUR AND MAKE FUN OF ALL THE WISCONSIN RAPISTS. DO YOU RECALL SCHLORBY?? SAWTOOTH WAS CRITICAL IN THE SHAPING OF THE TWISTED HUMOR I STILL HAVE TO THIS DAY. I MEAN, ME AND THIS DUDE INVENTED INAPPROPRIATELY GAY COMMENTS, BACK WHEN GAY WASN'T EVEN FUNNY YET.
SO THIS ENTIRE WEEKEND WE'RE GONNA KICK IT, REUNION-STYLE. EAT LOTS OF MEAT, CATCH UP ON OL' TIMES, ROCK SOME TUNES, PARTY LIKE FIENDS, WRESTLE SOME GATORS, YOU KNOW, JUST LIVE, MAN. WE HAVEN'T HUNG LIKE DONGS IN MAYBE 5 YEARS, SO THE BUILDUP IS QUITE INTENSE AT THIS POINT! LET'S DO THIS....
ANOTHER CLASSIC...
I JUST REALIZED THIS BLOG POST MIGHT ONLY SERVE TO PUMP UP 2 DUDES ON THIS PLANET, SO UH, SORRY REST OF PLANET. I'LL HIT YA BACK SOME OTHER WEDNESDAY.
OR, TRY TO GET YOUR PUMP-ON OFFA THIS...
THE BA-K-47. A RIFLE MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF BACON. NO? STILL NOT PUMPED?? HOW'S ABOUT A MEAT-HAT??
ALL ELSE FAILS, GO HERE. PUMP AMONGST YOURSELVES. I'LL GIVE YOU A TOPIC: IT'S WEDNESDAY, YOU'RE ALMOST TO FRIDAY, AND MOST OF YOU HAVE NEXT MONDAY OFF. GET JACKED PEOPLE!!!
oh heck no. nobody reads blogs on a friday evening. NOBODY! not much to say, just wanted to check in with you peeps (i don't like the word "peeps", or semi-word. It reminds me of those marshmallow-y Easter-time gooey things covered in sugar. what are those things called??? Hmmm...). Maybe i should use "peepers", kinda has a better ring to it. Just checkin' in wit my peepers! (No, No, now I'm just thinking of you guys outside my bedroom window, watching me get undressed. Scratch 'peepers') Ok, let's move on with our lives, you peeparooni's you. pepperoni-breaths? Joe pepitones? pepsi. pepperidge farms.
where the fuck am i right now? jeezus.
Anyhoo, long time no see, here's some stuff...
- Saw 'Star Trek'. How awesome do I say this movie is without sounding like a complete nerdy goon?? It's awesome. Trust me. And I hate CGI-blow-em-up-Michael Bay bullshit, too. So see it dudes.
- NBA: it's rigged.
- Favre: I want to say "fuck off", but in my heart I still love you. You can never take away those 16 years of glorious glorious memories.
- Subway: I'm still diggin' it. $5 mouth treats. So fresh and so clean-clean. Never gets old.
- Work: Still blows. Whatcha gon do bouts it? Miss my man-pal MFR.
- Campin': Yup, it's begun. Froze my ass off, drank whiskey, burned things, threw hatchet, tipped the canoe, and listened to country music by the fire with some of my bestest friends on the planet. This, my friends, is the high life.
- Blink is touring. I have no shame in revealing I'm still a fan, and I will check out this show. This band was the reason you kids started a band, so don't give me no BS about it, you like them. You do. Watch this video below in your room alone with your door closed so your mom can't hear you crying. Fuck yeah emo is back with a vengeance, soak your pillows muthafuckas.
Whoo! Summer is here! Forget Spring, let's just get right to the point. Flip-flops. Camping. The smell of burning charcoal. Ice cream trucks jingling down the street. Staring long and deep into the bonfire. Lightning storms. Lake swimming. Gazing up at the stars. Sweating. Hell yes.
You ever notice how all those people living in other parts of the country that have summer-like temperatures all year round tend to not notice or react to the "SUMMER IS HERE!" mood swing around this time?? I think we're really privileged to live in the midwest. Sometimes 4 months of being buried in the freezing cold bullshit makes you truly appreciate the warm sun glistening off your can of PBR as you turn over your burger on the grill. It makes me glad to think that a few months ago I was brushing snow off my car's windshield, hands frozen, nose running, cursing the bitter cold. Sometimes it takes pain to appreciate the pleasure. "As life gets longer, awful feels softer." Whoa man, that's like, deep... like backwoods Wisconsin deep. Ok, not really, but anyway, I'd like a bratwurst hot off the grill right now.
So three cheers to the approaching heat waves and the sunburns that go along with them. I personally can't wait to sit outside and get my lobster-red glow on. I'd truly like to camp out every single weekend, starting now, even if it's in my backyard by myself. Here's a vid from the best band in the world. This song puts me in my happy summer place.
