They Can't All Be Zingers

So i've been seriously lacking in the blog department, i know. Have the creative juices all run dry? Am I scraping the bottom of the barrel? Has my proverbial mind milk passed the expiration date? (Judging by that last question...yes.)

So rather than apologize to all of the faithful followers of this blog (my mom) for my lack of posts lately, I'm just going to leave the bar low. I mean, if you don't set expectations, you can never be let down, right? Well, just to be fair, I know you've been waiting for something, anything, to at least stimulate your senses for a bit; tickle your fancy if you will. So just in case you don't hear from me for another week or two, the best I can offer you now are a few random thoughts to tide you over. I'll warn you, I haven't fully fleshed these out yet, they're just a few ideas I was kickin' around. Are these anything? You be the judge...


* In the movie Gremlins, the main character Billy is fuckin' around with his new gift Mogwai friend Gizmo in his room. They're becoming real affectionate pals, and Billy playfully refers to Gizmo with the nickname "Giz", as in, short for "Gizmo". But when you read that on paper, when it's spelled out, do you think about "jiz", as in, man-juice? Is that something? Anything there?

*I wear my heart on my sleeve. Even when I'm in a room where everyone is wearing sleeveless shirts. (Is that one anything? No?)

*You know those whistler guys? You know, those guys who can whistle really loud? Like, you're in a crowded room, and someone needs to get everyone's attention, and some dude just puts a few fingers in his mouth and lets out this ear-piercing shriek of a whistle? Fuck those guys. I'll never be a whistler.

*Dennis Miller was awesome on Monday Night Football, I don't care what anyone says. Would you rather listen to John Madden spew some bullshit drivel all night about linebackers and honey BBQ backribs, or have Miller, who knows about as much about football as Andy Dick, crack obscure jokes and add abstract observations at the most inappropriate times? I say he spiced it up if anything.

*Old people and cell phones. LOL, they don't know shit about them. That's it.

*RiboFlavin - whatever happened to it? I mean, it used to be in stuff, right? You hear people say, "yeah, i'm taking some D vitamins" or whatever, but you never hear anyone say, "man, i really need some RiboFlavin." It really died in the early 90's i think.


So anyway, yep, not my best work, but hey, it's something, right?? Or is it nothing? Oh well. I'm going to the bowling alley now to drink all day and eat pretzels. Carpe Diem, turds.