FAKE LOLers

So where I work, we do a lot of communicating around the office using Instant Messenger. For those of you (my mom) who don't know what IM is, it's a chat application that allows you to "talk" to fellow peers, without all the hassle of actually looking someone in the eye or having any real human interaction. IM also allows you to insert hilariously witty acronyms, like the classic OMG ("oh my gosh"), BRT ("be right there"), and TTYL ("two times you laughed").

Of course the most superbly awesome go-to acronym of all time is the infamous "LOL". Laugh out loud indeed my friend! I mean, what a quick way to represent an exact response to a coworker's comical remark! Not only does it show your respect for said comment, it puts the visual in the other person's head of you, laughing... out loudly! Here's an example I came across just the other day at work...















So anyhoo, the other day I was at the office, typin' away, doing something resembling actual work, but I doubt it. I get an IM from my coworker... for the sake of the story, let's call him/her...Jamal. So Jamal sends me a message, something like "Hey there, check out this link. Oh, it's not work appropriate, so watch out."
ME: "Good thing we don't have an HR department! Haha!" and Jamal immediately types back, "LOL!"

Perfectly legit convo, right?? WRONG. DEAD WRONG. What Jamal failed to realize is that my desk is a mere 15 feet away. So what do I do? I turn around to see if he is ACTUALLY LOLing. And guess what friends... HE IS NOT! He's not even giggling, snickering... no sign of a guffaw anywhere! The dude's just sitting there, stone cold, straight faced. Not even a smirk. FAKE LOL!! We've got a FAKE LOLer over here, people! (I wanted to scream that throughout the office, but we've got, like, boss-men walking around and stuff. They never LOL, either). Screw that. He knowingly typed "LOL", yet is sitting there with his face drooping, looking like he just got done watching "The Black Dahlia" or a YouTube clip of some Australian douchebag talking about absolutely nothing. (you actually clicked the link? Ouch. I bet you're bored)

Jamal, the fake LOLer. What an asshole. Really. I immediately removed Jamal from my Buddy List, and contacted the proper authorities. When you LOL with me, Jamal, I want actual laughter, coming out of yer mouth, loudly. And please move desks, cause I know you're just gonna continue faking it.

The moral of the story, people: Don't half ass your stupid internet chat short-hand. If you tell me "ROFL", I expect to see your ass rolling around on the ground laughing uncontrollably. Don't bring that fake-ass shit my way, son! Watch your friends, coworkers, whatever... let's put an end to FAKE LOLing once and for all.

Also, the movie 'Twilight' (and all the teeny bopper vampire fake-goth heartthrob bullshit that goes with it) is horrible. LOL.