PU-PU-PU-PUMP!!!!
ALRIGHT IT'S BEEN WAY TOO LONG, LETS GET BACK TO BASICS HERE AND GET FREEGIN' PUMPED!!!
As you may or may not have heard, it was recently SHARK WEEK, and
higgity hot damn, that is cause for much PUMPAGE. Think about these SEA BEASTS just tearin' through the ocean, rippin' apart everything in their path. TRULY ONE PUMPY ANIMAL!!!
HOLY SHIT SHARKS GET MY PUMP LEVELS RISIN'!!!
Let's take a look at a clip from the Academy Award winning picture, "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon." I'll set the scene up for you: A cruise ship full of snobs is sinking into waters that are infested by a gigantic prehistoric beast. Hilarity ensues.
That woman gets her shit stolen, and her only reaction is the lackluster "Wh..What?" haha. Then notice the terrific lion ROAR the shark makes? Not to mention the classic bad-guy "heh heh I got away OH FUUUUCCK!!!!" scene. Amazing. LOLz all around; haha shitty graphics, piss poor acting, I mean, could it get any better??? YES, YES IT COULD!! Check out this infamous line from same film...
SUPERB FILM. Reminds me of that "Deep Blue Sea" movie with L.L. Cool J, which reminds me of that shitty shark song he did. What was it again, something about his head like a shark's fin?! haha, wow. Oh, found it. Here's a sample of the lyrics from "Deepest Bluest (Shark's Fin), by Mr. Cool J himself. Enjoy!
Uh, my hat is like a shark's fin
[Repeat (5x)]
Manmade terror
Hungry jaws of death
Y'all don't cross my depths
I'll pause your breaths
I cause you to sink down forty thousand leagues
Bleeding to death with no arms and short sleeves
My world's deep blue
Killers gotta eat too
[Repeat (5x)]
Manmade terror
Hungry jaws of death
Y'all don't cross my depths
I'll pause your breaths
I cause you to sink down forty thousand leagues
Bleeding to death with no arms and short sleeves
My world's deep blue
Killers gotta eat too
Now we're pumpin'! No arms, AND short sleeves. Man, have you noticed the utter lack of shark songs out there? These days, sharks just ain't bein' properly represented in hip hop music like they used to.
BONUS SHARK PIC!
Totally fucked.
Alright, that's the best I could PUMP for now, but I'll leave you with one last WTF classic. To all you shark-lovers out there, keep it Pumpy today, become the man-eater that you truly are, and stay sharp like my main man Roy Scheider. SHARK PUMP!!!!
SUPER DOUBLE SECRET BONUS UPDATE!
I went to the water-closet half hour ago and dropped a duece that felt like a hammerhead shark coming out of my ass. Painful, all sharp and fin-like. Just thought I'd add that. PUMP.
15 comments:
hahaha good job as always, way to incorporate shark week.
There is NO WAY that that is a real movie! No way.
Way.
same creators of other great movies, such as Yeti, Ice Spiders and Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. Classic Stuff.
That's also a book. I've read it.
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regards
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PUMMMMMMMMMMP WE NEED MORE PUMP!!!!!!!
P
U
M
P!
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